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Spare the Rod- Spoil the Child? Encourage? Fostering?


New experiences are fun, exciting, scary, and challenging and all the other descriptive terms you can think of. This year has been about new experience for me. I have been skydiving with my 21 yr old son, I have been zip lining with my 18 year old daughter.

The zip lining was fun but the program we took, had an agility course, in between each of the zip lining events. The course was hard and scary and really, did put a person to the test, in physical strength and endurance. My daughter and I both finished the course. It is funny, at different times; we both believed we were not strong enough, to finish the course. I was the first one wanting to quit. She encouraged me to continue and I did. Then came my time, to encourage her to finish. We would not have finished without each other.

Many people need a bit of encouragement- everyone can be a positive and true help with encouragement. Encouragement is not advice; it may contain aspects of advice. If my daughter had told me “do it this way”, I would have heard advice, but I would not have received the encouragement, to keep going.  I am different than her and I had to move forward, using my own choices to navigate forward. When she used encouragement, she brought out my belief in me, at which time was lacking.

I raised two children- I believe parenting is an incorrect, term for raising children. Fostering should be the term use for raising children. There are no perfect manuals for raising children. Children do not come with instructions. In all my years of experience  fostering through encouragement unites families and raises balanced children.

Spare the rod and spoil the child, is actually true and accurate. The miss interpretation, has caused many a beating or hurting for inapproaite behavior.  The rod is not a weapon; the rod is—Direction– fostering correct direction, produces positive results. Physically hurting a child, only teaches fear.

Encourage don’t discourage, even in your adult relationships too. Being the all knowing authority on everything is great and you have great wisdom. It is easy to give advice and tell people what they should do. To encourage and foster right choice empowers, a child or an adult to learn and have self trust and develop correct thinking and use their own discernment.

We all need to make mistakes-(another word, always used in the wrong language context). A mistake is not just right or wrong, it is an experience with a correct or incorrect outcome. A mistake teaches discernment. Fostering and encouragement with loving support can be taught, to produce positive results in all choices. Encouragement fosters positive self trust and direction, loving self trust, leads to correct discernment, even if  the result is a perceive mistake.  The total experience of encouragement and fostering produces happy, vibrant balanced children and loving adult relationships.

Spare the rod spoil the child, is a message for the parent –you are the rod for teaching correct direction and discernment, use encouragement –foster love!

Be Love Always

Rev Jay

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