I have a desire to teach people how to love correctly. The concept to “love correctly” seems mute to most people. Most people believe because you love, that it is then correct love. This is a false premise; you may indeed love and share your love but it may not be healthy,or conveyed correctly. The love you share can be damaging and even psychologically confusing or manipulating.
I want to say that- if you did not receive love correctly displayed as a child, then most likely your love will fail in relationships as a result. I never learned as a child how to love correctly. I saw verbal and physical arguments and then forgiveness and reunion as if love could with stand the abuse. However, as a very young child I did not believe my parents shared love. They would say how much they loved each other and moments later would be, on the verge of a horrific fight.
I married and thought relationships were all like my parents but I did not want anger in my relationship. I refused to fight. I would just not listen and walk away and at times cover my ears. This method did not work. I felt I loved my wife, yet being not engaged in a relationship did not end the arguments, it put distance in her emotions that I did not care. She eventually felt unloved.
I guess, I learned about love by seeing and experiencing what love is not! I then applied my corrected perceptions of love on my children. I have good relationships with my children and I believe we have a healthy love family relationship. I know there are ways to really share love and have it be correct; my children being my most loving relationship. I know despite not remarrying that the love I have shared has been successful. My children being, fairly balanced and socially well.
I know that love is not calling names. I know that love is not violent. I know love is not manipulating. I know love is not ignoring or pretending. I know love is not jealous or ugly. I know love is not secretive or deceitful. I know love is not angry or revengeful. Love Never Hurts.
It is not like you can truly put down words to teach love but you can put down guidelines and if fostered; a correct return of healthy giving and receiving of love can be shared for a life time.
To truly love someone, you must first love yourself, not as a narcissistic person,rather as one – who loves and feels worthy to be loved on every level. That would be Mind, Body, Soul. Once you honor yourself with self love, you can then be available for love and understand the guidelines below.
1) Love is reciprocal always honoring of each other.
2) The respect you desire is felt even, when having differing opinions.
3) The giving and receiving are equal and balanced.
4) The interest of the other is always present.
5) The sharing of help is always gifted.
6) The sharing of hope is a constant.
7) Any compromising must, honor both individuals.
8) The ability to communicate without fear.
9) Heartfelt joy is ever present.
10) Love is always being honest.
I hope this gives you a start on making a long term relationship work for you.
Be Love Always