I am not a procrastinator, I have for most of my life, looked to the future for have what I dream of; to have peace and contentment and to feel that I have arrived at a level of success, that would honor just how great I am. I am laughing because I am very humble and wish for a greatness. I am great just as I am but never feel it is enough. That actually was true till recently. I just never have felt I reached that level of achievements I dream of. I want more money, I want more recognition, I want to help my children. The list goes on and on.
Living for the future has helped me escape living in the “now” for years. I think it is a failsafe mechanism of the ego that helps us think there is more. However there is only now. The end of the world maybe tomorrow. Then all the anticipation for tomorrow will have been wasted. I really believe this year was going to be the best year ever and I am in pursuit of that. I now, live each day in the “now”. I am tiring to make better changes for the future in the now.
I have had a funky start to my new year. I had to have a tooth pulled. I take good care of my teeth and this was unanticipated and unpleasant. I recovered and felt it was just a small inconvenience. Thinking tomorrow, I would be back on track and going to get that future. I had another small snag- the antibiotic I took caused me some reactions that persisted for several weeks. I am strong willed and that was not going to interfere with my future plans. I have dreams and I am going to get there.
February came and I was in much anticipation I was looking forward to moving and doing new mission work and making the money that will fund my non-profit etc, etc, etc. I have heard the message “living in the now” so many times and yes, I thought I was in a way. It is close to the end of February. I can’t believe it and guess what? I have another tooth problem. How can that be? I have spent over three thousand in dental work in the last five years. I still have all my original teeth except the one that got pulled in January. My dental hygiene is very good.
So, I decide to ignore the discomfort. As if it will just go away. I have this life drive for more, more, more. Why? I am unsure. I have a safe place to live, food, clothes and a car. I am writing new music and moving forward. What became apparent is; I cannot be in the right now. Last night, I got a wakeup call; I am to see the doctor today. I realized because of pain, I can only think about right now. I have pain and discomfort making it almost impossible to think of anything but right now. I did not appreciate most of yesterday because I lived the whole day working, in anticipation of my future; never once just enjoying the day.
This has been a wake call for me. There is only now. It is great to dream and do work now for the future but don’t forget about right now. It may be your last moment in happiness! The message came to me so loud and clear. I hope for the best year I have ever lived. I am in gratitude appreciating today. I am determined to stay in the “Now”. Do not wait for the universe to send you a message about living today fully in the Now!
Be Love Always